Getting your oomph back week 10
Last week we finished by sharing that confidence and self-belief are important for our wellbeing. Sometimes when we have a fear about doing something it can be because our confidence or self-belief is a little low. If we think about the car analogy. If you didn’t believe the car, you were about to travel in was able to make the journey, would you jump in? The same holds about how we feel about our own ability, especially when we are thinking about changing something, whether that is our behaviour, or how we think about something. Old familiar patterns may not work for us anymore, but they are familiar, whereas change, well, that may be unknown, new territory, or territory we haven’t visited for a while. As ever these ideas are for self-reflection and not a replacement for professional advice.
On our website we have a section specifically dedicated to self-confidence, with ideas on how to become your own self-confidence architect, because sometimes we do need to build our confidence. Even if we have been a confident person, sometimes life throws us a curve ball and self-doubt creeps in and we need to revisit it and rebuild it back up again https://www.copescotland.com/resources/be-your-own-confidence-architect This can include confidence in work. It may be a promotion, a restructuring, a new teammate, boss, all of these factors can sometimes have us doubting ourselves, but there are things we can do to regain our confidence. https://www.copescotland.com/resources/confidence-in-the-workplace
These reflections may be helpful to consider whether the way you see yourself is holding you back or making your life journey better. Please consider whatever is really true for you
- What do you think it is to be confident?
- What do you think it means to have ‘self-esteem’ or self-respect’?
How we talk to ourselves has a huge impact on how we can feel about ourselves and our ability to do things. If you are not used to saying nice things to yourself, remember and visit the ‘what are you saying to yourself, because you are listening’ video on the COPE Scotland website https://www.copescotland.com/resources/what-are-you-saying-to-yourself-because-you-are-listening Learning to accept things you like about you, is very powerful for improving feelings of wellbeing.
Spend a few minutes thinking, and then writing, about things you like about you! This can be very powerful, for helping us feel better and achieve our goals. Now if we are not used to saying nice things about ourselves, this may be harder than we think, however, practice saying nice things about you and reminding yourself you are awesome as this too can help you regain your oomph and zest for life
Reflective exercise. 10 things I like about me
If you are finding it hard to name 10 things you like about you, then just write one or two now and come back later to fill in the rest. If even one or two feels too hard, please remember, and record good things other people have said to, or about, you. What have you said that someone else appreciated? What have you done for which you were thanked?
You don’t have to do any of these reflections at once. The ideas shared here offers tools you can dip in and out of, it’s about learning more about you and how you can bounce back when life has been challenging, or is being challenging and you want to find ways not to feel overwhelmed
It’s nice when others say something positive about us. However, it is at least as important to give yourself positive messages. Some people tend to ignore the positive, while taking negative comments and unkind words to heart. If how you feel about yourself is defined mostly by other people, then you are giving them too much power. Recall what’s good about yourself – and don’t keep those happy truths a secret from yourself!
Next time we will explore the qualities of a confident person and the negative chatterbox as we know, sometimes it can be hard to use that kinder inner voice we know we need to hear. Till then, look after you, remember, you matter