Getting your oomph back week eleven
Last week we began to look at confidence, and this time we are going to look at what you think are the qualities of a confident person, also why it matters we are mindful of the ‘negative chatter box’
Point for reflection
What 10 qualities do you imagine a confident person with high self-esteem/respect to have?
Reflect back on the things you like about yourself. What is the same – and what is different – between the 10 things you wrote about yourself and the ten things you think are true for confident people? This offers you a starting point for changing what you tell yourself about you. You matter and you can develop the same qualities you see in people who are confident and have strong self-respect. As ever, these reflections are for selfcare and not a replacement for professional advice.
The negative chatterbox is an expression that refers to the thoughts we have about ourselves, events or situations that are critical and negative. Begin to learn to pay attention to what this negative inner voice is saying and how that affects your confidence and self-esteem. It is your own inner voice; you can learn to change it to a kinder one. This may take time, if, for a long time you have been critical of yourself, felt guilt or regret over paths taken, or, choices made, or believed the unkind words of others. There are many reasons why we may have a critical inner voice. However, learning to use a kinder inner voice can make a difference to rebuilding our confidence to try again, and where necessary forgive ourselves for things we may have done differently, if we had a second chance. Bouncing back from adversity, gives us a second chance and if we made mistakes before, learn from them as we move forwards.
The following invitations to reflect aim to help you become more aware of your inner voice. To begin to notice the positive things you say to yourself, or, to help you begin to notice the way in which you may be put yourself down. Consider these carefully if it has meaning for you to help identify what negative things you say to yourself and what effect this is having on you, your confidence and self-esteem.
Points for reflection
- What do you say to yourself when things don’t go to plan?
- What do you say to yourself when you find yourself in a new situation? What effect does this have on you? Does it hold you back from feeling good about yourself? In what way?
- What do you say to yourself when you look at yourself, for example, when trying on new clothes?
- What effect does this have on how you feel and think?
- Why is it important for you to become aware of your negative self-talk (chatterbox)?
Next time we will look at positive affirmations and how we can take steps to manage the negative chatter box to become one which instead is kind and inspires us. When we want to get our oomph back, it matters the story we are telling ourselves about ourselves and our lives. Even when things may be challenging, there is more than one way to look at what is happening, as someone once said, it matters we find ways to walk on the sunny side of the street. The following week we are going to look at relationships as they too are important for so many reasons.
Till then, be kind to you, you do matter
Thanks for reading
Hilda