Reprogramming the RAS week 7

Last week we explored the impact our relationships with others can have on how we perceive the world and how sometimes we can wait on, or try to,  make others change so we can then relax, feel better, move on, yet in reality can we make others change? Is the only change we can make within ourselves ?  Sometimes when we change, that brings about changes in others.   Regaining a sense of self agency is important for starting to look for opportunities and not only scanning for threats. Learning to be in the moment can help and that is what we will look at this week. As ever, this is for self-reflection and not a replacement for professional advice.

Step seven

Focus on the now.

Sometimes when there is a lot to do, we become overwhelmed thinking ‘How will I get all of this done?’ Breaking what needs done into smaller parts helps, focusing on the present helps even more as this can support us to act. A new self-talk statement could be ‘what can I do now, no matter how small, which will take me closer to my goal’ Learning to be mindful can help as this helps us focus and not feel overwhelmed. The following tips on Mindfulness maybe helpful.

A few times a day observe 5 Mindful breaths, normal slow breaths and bring your full attention to your breathing. There is a 3minute relaxer on the COPE Scotland You Tube channel may find helpful https://www.youtube.com/@copescotland-healthandwell1362

Whatever you are doing, learn to give it your full attention, take your time, don’t be thinking about what you plan to do next or what you have or haven’t done, be in the moment. No one can do several things at once; we may do several things but one at a time. Focus on the task before you, then move on to the next.

Decide what is important to you, weed out that which is not kind to you, others or the planet. Take time to let your children,pets and those close to you know you love them. Use your breathing to learn to be calm in situations and not react defensively and with anger.

Explore solutions and use your energy wisely. Try not to waste it on blame and challenges, instead use it to help move you towards a resolution, or acceptance and find ways to adapt to this change. Sometimes no matter how much we want it to be so, things are challenging, It’s how we reduce pain during these times, so we suffer less. Increasing our emotional awareness can also help us to be more mindful, this piece may be of interest https://www.copescotland.com/glaswegian-way-to-wellbeing/emotional-awareness

  • Pace yourself and choose not to have huge to do lists cramming every minute with activity., Give your life a chance to pause and breath rather than always be panting.
  • Learn to live in the moment, the past is a different country we do not live there anymore, and the future has still to be. Make plans for the future you want to see. Do not worry about it. If you need help to do this, ask.
  • Realise it’s hard to be content in the moment when you worry about the future or get upset and angry by the past. If you hurt or are angry, find out what needs to change for you to let this suffering go.
  • Learn the art of deep listening. When you talk to someone be with them, give them your full attention, listen to your children if you have children, or young people in your personal, work, or community life and hear what they say.
  • Eat slowly and savour your food, drink water feel how cool and refreshing it is, bite into fruit and appreciate how sweet and juicy it is, give what you are eating your full attention, do not talk between bites just take it slowly and enjoy.
  • Be in the moment, savour life and eat it with your eyes, ears, sense of touch, smell, movement. Become aware of bird song, flowers, the noise of wind in the trees, the world is a magical place full of interest and beauty learn to see that. There is a video on the COPE Scotland you tube page around using the senses to relax.

Points for reflection

Are there any new routines from the Mindfulness tips I will start to adopt?

How will I bring these new routines into my day?

Step 8

Manage Fear

Trying something new can cause anxiety, be aware of this and be aware of the story you tell yourself as this can make the situation appear even more scary than it really is. If you need help, ask for it. We are fortunate in this country the amount of services we have often for free, so use them. Don’t be afraid of failure, we all fail sometimes it’s how we learn so don’t use that as an excuse not to try.

Think of scientists trying to find cures for diseases. Do they give up? Do they say we will never find a cure? No, they keep going till they find one. Programme your filter to look for new solutions as opposed to locking into experiences when things did not go to plan. We all learn and that can include learning not to do it that way again! We all can be plagued with the ‘what if’s’. These tips maybe helpful.

  • Life is full of uncertainty, much as we may want to we cannot control everything, learn to adapt to what is happening and have coping strategies that enable you to navigate challenging times when they arise, however, do not spend the time when the sea of life is calm worrying about the next storm. This can overwhelm us, miss opportunities in the now and drain the energy we may need if things do become unsettled.  As the saying goes ‘don’t look for snow when none is falling’
  • Become aware of your internal voice, uncertainty can lead to more uncertainty as our anxiety feeds on itself and grows. Left unchecked the ‘what ifs’ can spiral into feelings of panic. As ever, these tips are not a replacement for professional advice. Grounding ourselves in the moment can help keep the what ifs in check. This website offers many ideas on grounding techniques https://capacitar.org/
  • We already spoke about the influence of others, and this includes feeding the ‘what ifs too’ be aware of the company you keep and whether people constantly focus on the negative, also be mindful of doom scrolling on the phone or news. Yes, it matters we are informed, but when reprogramming the RAS, it also matters we do not ignore the good that is still in the world.
  • Learning to cope with change can also help reduce fear, sometimes changes are out with our control e.g. our post being made redundant at work, however there are still things in our control e.g. recognising our post is at risk and taking steps to look for a new job, or explore ideas for a change in what we do, perhaps even retrain in another area. Sometimes one door needs to close for us to realise there are many other doors we can open which we were not even aware of till we started to look for them.
  • Be kind to yourself. Life can be challenging at times and showing compassion to yourself and building selfcare into your day everyday matters. You are amazing, please do not ever forget that. Use a kinder inner voice, check out the ‘what are you saying to yourself, because you are listening video’ https://www.youtube.com/@copescotland-healthandwell1362

Points for reflection

What would be helpful for me to bring into my every day to help reduce the impact of uncertainty and enable me to focus on things to look forward to and not only worry about the ‘what ifs’ ?

Next week we shall explore the ‘Fire Drill for the Mind’ We know we have fire drills for buildings so people know what to do in the event of fire, however, do we consider the value of a fire drill for our mind? Worry and anxiety can be like a fire burning out of control in our minds and our fear and anxiety feed the flames so we can be caught in a vicious circle wondering how we are ever going to manage. Having a fire drill for the mind is a good way of getting the flames of worry under control. Till then, be kind to yourself, remember you matter, thanks for reading

Hilda

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