Connections matter
Connections matter
Staying connected, avoiding doom scrolling
On the one hand advances in technology make it easier to stay in touch, to share information, to connect with friends, relatives and work colleagues across the world. However, sometimes the sheer volume of information we are exposed to can feel overwhelming. Especially if we find ourselves doom scrolling. That habit of not really wanting to know what else there is in the world to worry about or be concerned about and yet, like a moth to a flame we find ourselves being drawn back into the doom loop of negative news. This is why we created these tips to help reduce or avoid doom scrolling https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-to-avoid-doom-scrolling as a challenge can be, when all we lock into is that things are bad and going to get worse, we can miss the fact that there is also still hope and goodness in the world, even though we may need to look a little harder to find it.
Addressing feelings of loneliness before they become chronic
There can be times in all our lives when we may feel lonely. Starting a new job where we do not yet know anyone, moving to a new area if we live alone and have not yet built connections in the area https://www.copescotland.com/resources/steps-to-help-reduce-the-stress-of-moving-home , a change in our lives where someone who was important to us is no longer there https://www.copescotland.com/resources/self-care-ideas-to-help-manage-grief-and-loss we may be living with chronic pain and so find engaging in activities a challenge https://www.copescotland.com/resources/self-care-ideas-to-help-manage-chronic-pain . Just as we may feel hungry when we need to eat, feeling lonely can be us telling ourselves we need to connect more with others, or find a new interest. However, chronic loneliness goes beyond feeling lonely, it lasts longer and can arise when we ignore the signs, we are feeling lonely and just as we ignore feeling hungry or thirsty if we do this long enough our health will suffer. It is important we recognise loneliness for what it is, an early warning system and do something about it. There can be many reasons why someone may experience chronic loneliness and finding out what it is that would help relieve these feelings is a place to start. If you do not have anyone you know to chat to about this then explore what clubs, groups or services may be in your area where you can reach out and connect. The ALISS search engine is a good place to start to learn more about what is available in your community https://www.aliss.org/ It is important if anyone feels so lonely that they think of suicide that they reach out and connect. Remember, the Samaritans are there 24/7 365 Tel 116 123 Please do not lose hope. You may also find this directory helpful https://befriending.co.uk/organisations-directory/ if you are searching for a befriender, thinking of volunteering, or wishing to connect with other befriending organisations. Also check out the Argyll and Bute Community Directory https://abcd.scot/
Feeling closer to others
We are all different and our needs to connect with others can be different. If we think about introverts and extroverts, then we can see there are some people are energised by being around others and others who can be around others for a short time but then need time alone to recharge. Being alone and being lonely are not necessarily the same thing. However, even introverts at times do enjoy being with others and having connections. What matters is finding what meets your needs. Sometimes we may find we have got out of the way of making new friends or acquaintances. These links offer some ideas to help build those connections with others.
https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-to-feel-closer-to-others
https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-to-bring-more-love-into-your-life
https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-for-being-interested-in-others
Having a sense of purpose
Many people have shared that even when they are in company that they feel alone, that it’s more than company that they need but a sense of purpose, belonging, a contributing part to what is happening and not passively receiving whatever others may decide for us. These affirmation cards may be of interest around regaining that sense of purpose https://www.copescotland.com/resources/life-purpose-affirmation-cards Sometimes our mood can drop when we feel out of step with the world and we lose interest in things. These tips are not a replacement for professional advice but may be of value to helping regain an interest in things https://www.copescotland.com/resources/regaining-an-interest-in-life
The Art of Communication
Communication can be an art form, and when seeking to build connections how we communicate and how our communications needs are met is so important. This link https://www.copescotland.com/resources/art-of-communication offers some ideas to help us explore how we communicate with others and also how we listen when someone us communicating with us as communication is a two way process.
Resource barriers
There are very few of us not finding our budgets are getting tighter just now, with rising prices and costs increasing on our bills. When we find money is tight, then it can be harder to fund social activities like going out for an evening or taking a trip or holiday. This may also mean we see other people less. There are things we can do to stay connected which do not cost a fortune or are free, but we may need to rethink how we spend the social time we have within the limits of our current budget. This booklet offers some ideas which may be helpful. https://www.copescotland.com/resources/financial-wellbeing-in-times-of-challenge We are updating this booklet and intend the new one to be in circulation in November. Going to the library is free, and escaping into a good book is another way to feel connected to the characters in the book and maybe even think about finding out about a book club near you to connect with others who enjoy reading. You may even think about starting one of your own https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/articles/how-to-run-a-book-club (One day I plan to start a book club dedicated solely to Discworld Novels by the late, great Sir Terry Pratchett which meets in person. There are already many out there online, the idea for this, is one which meets locally, where members can chat and exchange laughs at their favourite bits)
Confidence to build connections
There can be times when our confidence drops and making new friends or connecting to others can be a challenge. We may worry about what to talk about, or what people may think of us, or that if we try to offer friendship it may be rejected. These are all natural concerns. When we feel more confident, we are more likely to reach out to others and even if it does not go as planned, we do not give up but try again. These links offer some ideas around becoming more confident.
https://www.copescotland.com/resources/be-your-own-confidence-architect
https://www.copescotland.com/resources/what-are-you-saying-to-yourself-because-you-are-listening
Adopting a cheerier attitude
When life has proven to be challenging its understandable that we may find we are less cheery or optimistic. However, if we want to improve our connections then finding ways to become cheerier and more optimistic can help. Many people are struggling just now and while obviously there is value in supporting each other, its also important to find ways to lift each other’s spirits. These tips offer ideas on being cheerier https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-to-be-cheerier and optimistic https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-for-optimism as well as ideas to bring more joy into everyday life. https://www.copescotland.com/resources/ideas-for-bringing-more-joy-into-every-day
These remain strange times for many, when we connect and care about each other, we may not find solutions to all the challenges before us, but, we know we are not alone. Take care, you matter, we all do, together we can come through this.
Thanks for reading
Hilda