Getting Back your Oomph Week Two
Consider focusing on the 15% in your control and not the 85% you can do little or nothing about
Last week we explored what getting back your oomph, zest for life would mean to you and also to consider why you may have lost it. A gentle reminder, what is shared here is for selfcare and is not a replacement for professional advice, it you do not feel this is for you at this time then that is okay. What matters when we are embarking on a journey of personal development or self-reflection is that we do it at a time and pace which works for us.
Thinking about events which can have an impact on us, it’s helpful to consider whether they are internal or external to us.
External changes are often the changes we have the least control over. COVID19 was an example of a stressful, harmful external change no one wanted or created. It impacted where we could go, who we could be with, our work, our income and for too many people, there have been terrible impacts on their lives, their physical health and mental/emotional wellbeing. There are many things which can happen which are external to us, such as someone leaving us, which are largely beyond our control. Even when we have been doing all the right things, external changes we don’t want, or like, can still occur. This can include in work where there are redundancies, restructuring, changing work patterns. Life happens, some things we can do something about, others we may find adapting to them is better for our wellbeing.
Again, Maya Angelou offers words of wisdom: “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
Internal changes are ones over which we have more control. How we speak to ourselves and the kinds of messages we allow our minds to dwell on are areas we can try to adjust in ways that would be helpful to our mental/emotional wellbeing. Whether we choose to be more active, eat a balanced diet, stay hydrated, make time to relax, have interests, share how we feel, respond to situations and the decisions we make, as well as being compassionate to ourselves, are usually within our control, where we have agency to act for ourselves. Even when life is proving challenging, we often have more power than we realise to act in ways that improve our own lives and the world around us. This resource booklet on selfcare ideas to overcome or mitigate the challenges of life may be of interest https://www.copescotland.com/resources/surviving-the-sea-of-life-booklet
It is rare that we have not experienced some challenges or upsets in our life, if it feels safe for you to do so, consider what helped you restore you zest for life in the past if you felt you had lost your oomph. Perhaps a helpful reflection may be to complete the following sentence.
When I have felt flat before and lost my zest for life and felt my energy was depleted what helped me to get reenergised was…………
Thinking about internal and external factors, helps us to realise that some things are beyond our control, however, some things are not. Focusing on the 15% that is in your control can help save energy being wasted over something you can do nothing or little about. E.g. How much time do you spend on social media? Is this working for you? Do you find with all the challenges in the world you are perhaps absorbing more negative news than is helpful for you? There is a balance between being informed and being overwhelmed. These tips on doom scrolling may be of interest https://www.copescotland.com/resources/tips-to-avoid-doom-scrolling
It may be helpful to reflect on any areas at the moment which are impacting on you. This reflection may help
What currently is reducing my zest for life, is it external or internal and what changes could I make to adapt to this, or include some new strategies to mitigate the impact of what is happening (remember, only do this if you are in a place where it feels safe for you to do so) Remember also if you are struggling with something just now, please share it with someone, we often have more supports than we realise.
| Challenge | Impact on my zest for life | Internal | External | What can I do about it? |
Change happens and it’s how we adapt to that change can have a big impact on how we feel. Next week we will explore adapting to change.
Please remember, you do matter and be kind to yourself, we are all trying our best in what can often be challenging times, but caring about ourselves, each other, and the planet, we can make it through to the other side.