Selfcare and Boundaries
Selfcare and Boundaries
Listening to people over the years it has became clear that it’s not we don’t want to change our behaviour and make time for selfcare, it’s just we can’t find the time! We can find we are being pulled in too many directions, with too many conflicting priorities, that making time for ourselves can slip. We can then waste even more energy on feeling guilty because we didn’t; exercise, eat the healthy diet, practice the relaxation, make time for relationships etc etc the list goes on. When we don’t have a lot of energy, we really don’t need other pressures draining us even more and selfcare can end up feeling like another pressure!
This made us think maybe we need to reflect on barriers to making time for ourselves and our wellbeing. If we understand the barriers and why they exist, maybe we can find a way round them, or to change them. This piece is called establish boundaries, not barricades as it can sometimes feel we are being overwhelmed and just want to pull the covers over our head and have everyone go away. However, this can leave us feeling isolated and confused even. Boundaries matter for our wellbeing, and when we have several demands on our time, they matter even more.
There can be many reasons why we find it hard to establish healthy boundaries. This link takes you to some tips on managing boundaries, a copy of the postcard shared as the image in this piece and also a podcast offering ideas for healthy boundaries. Created with nurses in mind but there may be ideas there which are helpful for anyone who finds they care so much for others, they do not make time to care about themselves too https://www.copescotland.com/resources/boundaries-postcard
If you find you just don’t have time for you, as you are so busy meeting everyone else’s needs, or find other’s expectations of you need to be managed, the wee tips, podcast and postcard maybe helpful. This does not replace professional advice, sometimes we do need support to work through boundary issues. However, if this is an area you want to give more attention to, reading these wee tips maybe a place to start.
We recognise also the issues there can be setting boundaries at work. Often in the third sector we can feel we are the last chance for people, or people are sent to us for support from other agencies who do not understand that the person’s needs may exceed what we can do, and we are left managing that expectation. We care so we do what we can, however, this sometimes can be a challenge. Shortly we shall be sharing a set of slides on our website which offer ideas around boundaries at work which can also help support collective care at work. They will offer ideas on
- What do we mean by assertion and boundaries
- Confidence and assertion
- The challenges of establishing clear boundaries
- Why setting and maintaining workplace boundaries are crucial to self-care and avoiding burnout.
- Ideas on how to create space to share and learn with peers
- Ideas for boundary setting in your group or organisation
- Practical tools and ideas to help say no, when necessary, without feeling guilty or overwhelmed
Selfcare is not selfish, its part of a healthy routine to support our wellbeing. It does not need to be complicated or time consuming. Sitting for a minute and enjoying a cup of tea rather than gulping it down on the go, or, making it and forgetting to drink it. Taking a moment to pause, look at the clouds, trees, flowers, leaves turning all the colours of autumn. Taking a break from screens, phones, social media, emails even for a short while, The wee postcard in this link gives you simple ideas for 7 days of selfcare as well as a score card to remind whether you also took a step for you today. https://www.copescotland.com/resources/self-care-scorecard
We are offering a selfcare webinar on Friday the 21st of November 11-12 on zoom no need to register, here is the zoom link https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83912518232?pwd=398DmOlZMD4albvzrhgF1ycwYWGGsg.1
Please remember you matter.
Thanks for reading
Hilda