What do we mean by stress?
What do we mean by Stress?
This wee post was inspired by a recent conversation where someone shared that to be honest, they don’t really recognise when they are stressed, it just feels this is the way it is and you have to get on with it. The sad truth is for many there has been such prolonged stress for so long its become part of how we feel, and yet, it does not need to be that way. The first step is recognising it, the next is what we then can do about it. Over the next few weeks I plan to share some ideas, they do not replace professional advice, they may not be for everyone, they are for selfcare and to be used in a way that works best for you. They may also be helpful to share with those you work with. This wee piece is connecting with ourselves to recognise where we may be experiencing stress. Now we all know at times life can be stressful, however, prolonged stress is not good for us and finding ways to manage it matter, these can also help at other times when life may feel a wee bit challenging. You are important please remember that.
Many of the people we support or work with may share they are feeling stressed, we may feel this ourselves, but what does that actually mean? Why are we feeling that way? Can we name the stressor or micro stressors? Do we even recognise we are experiencing stress so we can then take steps to do something about it, or learn more about how to manage it?
There can be many sources of stress, some external e.g. the cost-of-living crisis, which we may have little control over, others can be internal, and we may have more control than we realise e.g. taking steps to mitigate the impact of rising prices. This resource booklet may be of interest https://www.copescotland.com/resources/financial-wellbeing-in-times-of-challenge
The first step is recognising when we are under stress. Now life can be challenging at times and at times it can be stressful, however, when it goes on for a long time this can more from the stresses of everyday life to distress. There are many ways this can affect us.
Psychologically
We may find it hard to concentrate and even thinking about small things or making decisions can feel overwhelming. Things we usually do with ease feel like a mountain to climb leaving us feeling frustrated and mentally exhausted. Something as simple as deciding what to get at the shops for dinner can feel just like too much bother!
Emotionally
We may feel anxious and worried that whatever challenge you are facing you may not be able to cope with the outcome. This anxiety may even trigger feelings of panic and dread. You may feel angry or frustrated as you just feel you are not able to get on top of one thing and something else appears.
Physically
We can experience stress in our bodies with tension in our muscles, headaches, difficulty sleeping, perhaps even physical feelings of panic which can be quite distressing This link may be of interest https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-and-anxiety/ . We may also experience digestive upsets, loss of appetite or eating more than usual. As ever these tips are for self-awareness and selfcare and do not replace professional advice, if you are worried about your physical or mental health, please speak to a suitably qualified health professional about this.
Behaviourally
Stress can impact on our behaviours. We may avoid certain people or places as we associate them with being stressful experiences, we may also procrastinate over important tasks as we worry about any stress they may bring. This can also be the case when we do have a problem that needs to be addressed, that we try and keep putting it to the back of our mind, and filling our time with lots of distractions, which in themselves can lead to more stress. Addressing the sources of stress can help reduce it or mitigate its impact and seeking help to do this is okay, we all need help sometimes. It is also important to recognise that we can sometimes adopt unhelpful behaviours to try and manage stress e.g. increased alcohol use, gambling, drug misuse. In time these behaviours can lead to more challenges for us, and it matters if stress is impacting on you in a way that is causing you further distress that you talk to someone, Please remember you matter.
Relationally
Stress can also have an impact on our relationships; it may even be our relationships or lack of connection to others leads to feelings of distress. We may find we withdraw from people which can leave us feeling isolated, or there is a communication breakdown as we do not know how to tell others we are under stress then feel disappointed in them that they do not notice which can lead to further withdrawal and irritability. It is important to remember, people are not mind readers and sometimes we do need to communicate how we feel. This link may be of interest https://www.copescotland.com/resources/change-the-narrative-start-the-conversation It maybe you believe no one will listen if you share how you feel, so perhaps begin with talking to someone about this, remember the Samaritans and Breathing space are there. Sometimes when we talk to a stranger it helps us build the confidence to share with those closer to us.
Confidence
Our confidence in ourselves to deal with whatever is happening has a huge part to play around the levels of stress we may experience. This can also include how we talk to ourselves and the story we tell ourselves about what is going on. This video offers some ideas to reflect on the impact our internal voice can have on us. https://cope-scotland.squarespace.com/resources/what-are-you-saying-to-yourself-because-you-are-listening
Understanding and acknowledging stress is the first step toward managing it. It’s important to remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. Whether it’s through professional support or friends and family, or work colleagues, we all need help sometimes. This link may be of interest for more ideas on understanding and managing stress https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/stress/what-to-do-if-you-are-struggling-with-stress/
Next time I will share how we can begin to understand what stressors and micro stressors can exist as once we recognise the signs and symptoms of stress, its helpful to identify their source, which then helps us plan steps to manage it, which I shall also cover in a later piece.
Sorry for any punctuation errors, this is written by me Hilda, not an AI, and I am doing it because I care about you and the time taken to do this personally is worth it. We may never meet but if anything in what I share has value in your life or someone you know or work with, then for me, that was a good reason to write this.
Look after you too, thanks for reading
Hilda